Okay, so, I was looking at the character pages for Overwatch cuz someone was talking about them and there are just some things that were on my mind that I wanted to mention.
Let’s start with Symmetra.
I borrowed @bikiniarmorbattledamage‘s Female Armor Bingo card here (and in other spots for this post). Now, technically she’s not wearing armor in the first place, but honestly that’s part of the problem for me. They’re going into battle and she doesn’t even get pants??? Also, I know this is a nitpick but I’m get so tired of seeing thigh-highs that stay up completely by themselves. You need sock glue or garters for that shit, I’m so tired of seeing that. She’s also wearing high heels.
But like, why doesn’t she get real armor at all? Or pants???
And when I looked at her story, it said her real name is Satya Vaswani. I’m kind of side-eyeing the name choice slightly because, when I worked with kids for a while, we had a huge variety of customers and a lot of our Indian customers had what I thought were longer, cool, beautiful names. Names that a lot of Americans would think were hard to say. But other characters got longer and more complicated-sounding names, so why do I have a bad feeling that they picked Symmetra’s name to be easier for Americans to say? Idk. It bugs me.
Next up is Mercy.
Whooooo also isn’t allowed to have pants.* :/ And no, those are clearly semi-opaque tights of some kind, not pants. They’re not even leggings. They basically have an almost fishnet look to them. So again, no pants. Boobplate, of course. And the entire skirt thing and her boots are going to chafe and poke her horribly and it’s just not comfortable-looking at all.
But what really bothers me about her design is how fucking Aryan she is. Do angel-type characters always have to be pale white, blonde, and blue-eyed? Combine that with the fact that her name is Angela Ziegler, which is a German last name, and the whole thing just becomes incredibly off-putting to me. Sure, technically her character is Swiss, but to give her a German last name on top of her looking so Aryan is just gross, frankly.
Next up is Zarya.
Her torso armor is still kind of skintight for her torso and I am not counting that jersey-like fabric she’s wearing underneath it as padding in any way, shape, or form, but holy shit she gets PANTS! And doesn’t even have to wear heels!!
She still has a pretty prominently boobplated breast size, but still probably one of their better designs.
One thing that makes me uncomfortable is that the one tank-like woman we get is Russian??? Why??? I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but when I learned she was Russian, I wasn’t even slightly surprised. It feels like it’s playing into some weird tropes that I’m not as familiar with but it just doesn’t feel right on some level.
Next up is D.va.
(Apologies for weird image, couldn’t find anything great for it.)
Her shoes have a big enough heel that they’d be uncomfortable to walk in, so I’m counting it. Those things on her breasts are almost on top of her nipples so I’m counting it. Also, it’s technically not a boobplate, but they gave her boobsocks, so I’m counting it.
Everything about this character just makes me like. :/ Really?
Honestly, her name “D.va” wouldn’t bother me as much if it weren’t for the way she was written. She’s a 19-year-old Korean woman who’s job was as a pro-gamer before the plot. Like. Really? Just. Sigh. Do I even need to explain why this is icky-feeling? Ugh. And no, playing video games should not automatically make her good at using mechs, which is kind of what it read as in her profile to me. -_-
Next up is Widowmaker.
Bingo, bingo, bingo! I really don’t like her outfit at all. There’s no way her top would ever stay in place unless it was basically stapled into her skin and it isn’t. So. No. Also, it looks really uncomfortably tight, especially in the crotch region, which is just gonna make it more likely that she’ll get vaginal infections. These are things people need to think about, I’m serious.
Okay, for one thing, yes, I realize she’s supposed to be some sort of femme fatale character. Except. Her backstory doesn’t match how she looks at all. She’s supposed to be this perfect assassin who was brainwashed to be a killing machine, blah blah blah. As tired as I find that story to be in general, it would be alright enough if this wasn’t her appearance. What kind elite goddamn assassin dresses like that?!
Also, her backstory says, “her physiology was altered, drastically slowing her heart, which turned her skin cold and blue and numbed her ability to experience human emotion.” That is not how that works. At all. Her skin is more purple imo than blue, but I’d be willing to ignore that if it weren’t for the “somehow it also made her emotionless!” No. No no no no no. That’s now how that works. At all. Ever. That’s just shitty writing. Even if they were trying to be dramatically metaphorical, it read like they meant it literally and it’s just really awful. Just no.
Also her being French because French is ~sexy~ just fucking delete this character, ffs.
Next up is Mei.
This outfit is actually A+, I really like it.
Ignoring the bullshit of cryotechnology because sure why not whatever, her backstory is also good. I think her pants might not actually be warm enough cuz they look like tights and if she’s fighting in any not cold area, I feel like she’d be sweating like crazy, but whatever.
The only thing I’m kinda :/ about is that I often see her held up as a fat or curvy female character, but I feel like she’s honestly designed as just wearing really thick clothing? But in general, no big complaints for her.
Next is Tracer.
Overall her outfit is pretty fun. That butt cleavage, tho. :/ Why the hell is her butt so vacuum-sealed into those pants? That’s an incredibly uncomfortable wedgie. Ick.
She’s alright for the most part, but is anyone else mildly annoyed that the sort of mascot character for the game is a white British woman? Meh. Not much else to talk about that hasn’t already been said.
Finally, we have Pharah.
She’s also got one of the better outfits, actually. She’s the only woman who has real head protection (which isn’t a high priority for me tbh but it’s great to see). Her armor around her waist especially is super tight, so I’m counting it.
I felt like her backstory was really, really bland. She’s wearing really awesome armor! Kick it up a notch!! I also kind of wish her armor was even more bulky but it’s pretty good.
One thing I feel weird about is that curlique-type thing under her eye. I don’t know enough about Egyptian culture to speak to it much, but it feels a little bit like, “hey this is Egyptian, right? Now you can tell she’s Egyptian!” Idk.
So overall, some of the outfits are really good. The body diversity could have really been a lot better.
Symmetra deserved PANTS FER FUCKS SAKE, Mercy is way, way too Aryan, Widowmaker has a backstory that contradicts her entire outfit, and D.va as a character just makes me facepalm because she feels so extremely fanservicey.
But more people especially need to talk about grossly Aryan Mercy is, it’s really pissing me off the most.
Otherwise, Symmetra, Mei, Zarya, and Pharah are best character imo.
*EDIT: Someone pointed out that it’s a little weird for me to count Tracer’s leg-coverings as pants but not Mercy’s leg-coverings as pants. Texture-wise, I still think Mercy’s are semi-opaque tights and Tracer’s are thick leggings, but this one can definitely be up to interpretation, I think.
I found the infamous Overwatch armor “””expert””” analysis and now you all have to see it too
it’s a fucking game holy shit
the fact that tracer suffers from fucking time displacement doesn’t bother you, but a woman going into battle without a fucking suit of power armor does
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me with this bullshit
-Mod Void
Interesting character design? What’s that?
Also I love how out of all of the pictures of Dva they could use, this person grabs the few pictures of her without her mech, ignoring the fact that Dva is inside of her mech 90% of the time, so you rarely even see her jumpsuit.
small boob privilege is so real like…. bralettes… underboob tattoos… going braless?? not looking hyper sexual at all times ???? running comfortably? i could go on
YAS finally someone said this
Girls with big boobs are jealous of the girls with small chests. Girls with little titties always want bigger ones. There’s no middle ground!
Me, I love ALL boobs, regardless of size! They’re all fun, they’re all gorgeous, and I can’t get enough of them! Please, feel free to share!
everyone please pray for this man he’s so out of his mind he hallucinated the part Where I Asked :/ so sad
